a southern yankee abroad

I live in two Americas. I am a daughter of the South but a citizen of New York City. In the last two days, the divide that exists in this country has ripped open even further, and I have found myself struggling with the national cognitive dissonance I am observing playing out on Facebook and other social media. The realization hit me yesterday (like a load of bricks) that I uniquely have a foot in both worlds. Many people can open Facebook and see only the views that “echo” their own playing out across their Newsfeed. I see views from both rural and urban America, views I agree with and disagree with. I recognize now that is a special position not shared by many of my friends in both worlds. I also take personal responsibility for not engaging those who don’t share my views more.

Whether you are a member of my right-leaning or left-leaning sphere, I want to ask that you keep an open mind not only as you read this post, but as you work to unify our country. As you read this post, please just assume that those who do not share your political beliefs are not inherently bad, just for the sake of argument.

In full disclosure, I enthusiastically supported Hillary Clinton, but I also truly believe we all need to listen to President Obama’s call for unity. For all of our sakes, I am praying that President-elect Trump is not the hateful, prejudiced, loose-lipped, undisciplined, ignorant leader that so many of us genuinely fear he will be. His words, actions, and beliefs have already affected the faith many of us have in this country in the last few days. If you supported Trump, I ask that you please not shut down after reading that. Please know I am not trying to “win an argument” with you. Please know that, from what I am reading on Facebook, many of you out there are truly not aware how genuinely afraid people of color, religious minorities, LGBT people, and victims of disease and violence are right now. I simply want to make you aware. Please accept this assertion as true.

Trump’s views really upset me in a visceral, I-feel-sick-in-my-stomach way. That being said, I want to point out to those of you in my left-leaning sphere that most Trump supporters I know are not racist, misogynist xenophobes. My struggle in the last 48 hours has been dealing with this disconnect—how can people I love and care about condone the beliefs and political platform that embolden actual racist, misogynist xenophobes who are out there? I ask this honestly and respectfully, without trying to provoke or denigrate anyone. We all as people are broken, but not irredeemable.

One realization I have come to is that many people overlooked these horrific qualities because they truly believe that the election of Trump will directly lead to millions of lives saved because of his stance on abortion. Please do not roll your eyes or laugh…that will get us nowhere. Please, for the sake of argument, try to understand where these voters are coming from. In full disclosure, I am pro-choice (my personal views are best expressed here). But please know that many people truly believe abortion is murder and that Trump will appoint Supreme Court justices that will overturn Roe v. Wade. I think these voters don’t realize that Roe was decided by a conservative court, yet they are putting their hopes about this issue in this basket. Also, it doesn’t matter that Trump used to be pro-choice and (somewhat conveniently) changed his mind to get Republican votes. To these voters, President Trump = saved lives. If you have these deeply held beliefs about abortion, it is hard to let any other issue sway you.

That being said, the fear that Trump’s message is causing is real. I can’t tell you how many Facebook statuses I have seen from privileged white men in the South (who are my friends) that talk about how happy they are that that the election is over, that life will go on as normal, and that the dramatic social media posts will soon stop. I love y’all as people, but y’all are speaking from a place of privilege. Speaking from my own position as a female, I have felt particularly devalued in this election and by the outcome Tuesday night. I also humbly admit I don’t know what it feels like to be a person of color right now in a country that elected a KKK-endorsed president 8 years after it elected its first black president, but it really, really upsets me that it happened. What I do know is that we all need to recognize that this election really is unlike anything we have seen in our (millennial) lifetimes. We need to commit to protecting one another as there are so many unknowns with what’s to come in the next 4 years.

I am still soul-searching and grappling with what this election means for our country and for me personally. One solid conclusion I do have is that we all need to listen to each other. Safe spaces are important. It is important for someone who is passionately pro-life to have a place they can talk about their views and not be made fun of. You will find this in many churches in the South. I grew up in the church, and you will find many good people there, despite what the election Tuesday may make you believe. It is also important to have a community where you can express how afraid this election has made you feel, because you are a woman, a person of color, a minority, or a white man who cares about these groups, without being made fun of. I have found this community at NYU Law and among many friends from both NYC and back home in the South, and I am so grateful for this.

Safe spaces are important, but we all need to make sure we are stepping out of our own echo chambers. Trump is our president-elect, but we can all still reject racism, xenophobia, and misogyny. I want people in both my “worlds” to know that I am here to engage with you in a non-judgmental way. We all have to stop writing each other off just because we don’t share the same political beliefs.